InsaneJournal

Current mood:	drunk
Current music:	Splean - moya lyubov'

ETA: Okay, forget whatever I was babbling on about here, Russian music or something. This is fucking EPIC PWNAGE.

ETA ETA: This is funnier if you know that it's true. Colin's like two inches.



So, Joe (the kid from before, now we're cool) emailed me this:

The party was infuriating. Colin stuck himself to Mikel, though Mikel would shove him off or jerk away each time, he still kept touching him. Finally, I decided instead of decking the dickhead like I wanted to - I'd tell him the truth:

Me: "Could you fuck off? Mikel has a boyfriend. He's Russian and scary as hell. I have no doubt he'd kill you if he saw what you were doing. Not to mention he's brilliant and absurdly hot in comparison to you. Oh, and he's younger too. 18 to be exact." (I only remembered now that you're 19, oops.)
Colin: "I know. I'v already heard it from Mikel. But it's still sad to hear. Pathetic actually. No one Mikel's age is interested in him because they don't want to date someone with the maturity of a five year old. And Mikel can't legally date a five year old. So poor Mikel has to settle for the youngest thing he won't be arrested for."
Mikel: "I may have the maturity level of a five year old but you have that and the dick size of one. So, truly, poor Colin and anyone who has to try and stay hard while looking at that. I know how difficult it can be."

Cue me and Colin's jaws dropping. After about 30 seconds I burst out laughing and Mikel just kept staring daggers into Colin, both of their eyes locked. For a second I thought I'd have to break up a fight. Shit, I've never heard Mikel say something with such spitting malice. It was amazing. I don't think Colin has ever heard him like that either because it scared him right off, he left the party without another word.